Why I Dread Raya

Dear aunties and uncles of mine,

Well its that time of the year again. The day when the air in every single Muslim house smells of a strange mixture of rendang, cookies and fresh curtains. Hari Raya. After one whole year, we finally get to meet!

I guess we are going to catch up on a lot of things. But do you guys know that I dread Raya very much? And what's more, do you know that I dread it because of you guys?

Yup! You heard that right. Every time you come for a visit, I drag myself to the living room like Garfield on a Monday morning to meet you guys. Don't get it wrong. You guys are okay. I respect my elders very much and look forward to a meet up after such a long time of mutual absence.

But it would be fantastic if you guys could stop asking “The Question” everytime you pop in for a visit. You know, THAT question that all of you keep asking me about a million times every single Raya since I completed NS?

“When is your turn?”

Ah. Sounds familiar now? Yes, that is the question that I dread very much. It does not help that you guys keep winking whenever the question is asked. Come on. Stop that winking thing already. I get what you are trying to say. You don't have to wink like you're having epilepsy.

I think you guys need to give us singles a break. Times are changing real fast, but sadly most of our Malay aunties and uncles still expect our men and women to get married rather promptly once they reach their mid-twenties. Sad, if you were to ask me.

Hello? This is not the eighties you know?

We've never had as many Malay University graduates as we are having now and our youth are in the best position to seize the opportunities that the globalised world has to offer. The youth of other races are doing exactly that.

Likewise, don't you think that this is also the best time for the Malay youth to elevate their careers and positions in society? Instead of settling down as a young couple like you guys did in the eighties?

Think about it. Us Malays are having THE highest divorce rate in Singapore at the moment. The fact that so many of us are getting married at such a young age without proper careers or qualifications will not help this figure very much.

Instead, you should be glad that there is a growing number of highly educated Malays who are carving their own niche in society. It will benefit us in the long run – socially and economically. All we need to do is to change our mindsets and accept the fact that marrying in your late twenties or early thirties is still very much okay.

So please, stop asking “When is your turn?” should you come over to visit this time.

However should you still insist on asking, I will ask you the exact same question the next time we attend a relative's funeral.

Deal? (winks)