Types of Raya Visitors

Its the week immediately after Raya and like many Muslim households this season, your home will most probably be experiencing endless streams of visitors. Long lost relatives, cousins you didn't even know existed and sometimes even absolute strangers would come knocking on your door.

I don't go house visiting. Every Raya I only visit 2 houses – my paternal grandparents and maternal grandparents. That's it.

But our house does receive its fair share of visitors. I'm not sure if you've experienced them but some of these house-hopping visitors can be quite a pain in the derrière. I'm sure you must have experienced at least one of the types of visitors below:

The Midnight Raiders

Its 12 am and you're about to call it a night. The last visitor just left and the bed beckons irresistibly. You're just about to put away the last dishes and cookie jars when suddenly to your horror of horrors, the door bell rings! The midnight raiders strike again.

I don't understand. How do people actually “jalan raya” at midnight? There are others who actually have something to do at 6 am the next morning – even if its a weekend night. But somehow, the fact that these people are “in the area” is somehow more important than that.

If you are a midnight raider, do your host a favour. Go to bed after midnight. That's what the night is for. Its not meant for house visiting. Its meant for people to sleep.

However if you have the irresistible urge to step into someone's house in the dead, unearthly hours of the night – at least give a phone call. It's only polite. If they do not pick up, it means they're already asleep. Live with it.

The Over Stayers

So far we've not experienced these type of visitors. Guests so far have been polite when they sense that the house is getting too crowded and take their leave rather graciously. But we have stories from neighbours who've had guests who refuse to budge- even after sitting for 5 hours and the clock is way past 1 am, despite the host dropping various hints such as looking at the clock obsessively and yawning very loudly every 2 minutes.

Well, I think that would depend on the situation. If it's someone real close like your favourite aunt or a bosom buddy, perhaps staying a really long time would be cool. But generally, I think there's an “unspoken rule” about Raya visiting that says you should not spend more than 60 minutes at any given house. It might inconvenience the host especially, when visitors keep piling in.

The Platoon

Of all the delinquent visitors, these must be the most dreadful and the most common every single raya season. The Platoon would usually come in with a troop strength of about 40. But instead of coming in oil-drums like Ali Baba, they will usually arrive in a full length air-conditioned passenger bus.

Secondary school students are especially fond of doing this. Maybe they do not realise it but coming in in sheer volumes at one go may send your host into a helter skelter and puts a strain on the resources of the house. People might not have enough glasses, plates or even the floor room to accommodate such a big group of visitors. This is enough to send the host into a frenzy of preparation activity – leaving no time to entertain the guests.

That defeats the purpose doesn't it? After all, isn't Hari Raya visiting about making connections and silaturrahim with the host, instead of saving costs on transportation?

Perhaps it would make better sense to stagger the visiting timing, instead of coming in all at one go. A better ukhwah and connection can be built with the host when he can concentrate on each small group at the same time. Besides, not everyone is living in a spacious bungalow and you will do the host a great favour by not coming in a full strength platoon. Students especially, take note!

The Professionals

Usually comprises of a group of students, usually primary or secondary school kids who are doing home visiting as a means to increase their income. Just like the group of eight kids who visited our house the other time. We have no idea who they are or where they come from as we've never seen them our entire life. All we notice is that they have extremely bulging pockets filled with money.

They just barge into the house, sit down, look pretty, have a few drinks and then off to another house with their “collection” money – all within a time span of 5 minutes. What the?

So what do you do when you have this type kids “begging” from house to house? Do you just lock them out because they're total strangers or do you embrace the spirit of Syawal and let them in anyway? But wouldn't that encourage them further to go “begging” at other houses?

Sad but true. Hari Raya has lost its meaning to a certain group of our youngsters. The question on my mind when encountering these kids is where are their parents and what type of youth are we raising with these kind of mentality?